lemmy.blahaj.zone has a decent amount of women and both their admins are women, it’s not a “women’s space” as one would describe since everyone is welcome there but it’s probably the closest thing one would describe as an instance “by women for women”. I am obligated to mention that it is a queer instance and that many of the women there are either trans themselves or strongly supportive of trans people, and do not tolerate transphobia or anti-LGBT sentiment (including refusal to support LGBTQ people) at all.
As much as I appreciate the community and users at Blahaj, in my personal experience, the moderation was fairly wanting. At least a year or two ago (not sure about now), they tolerated some pretty freakish right-wing people who enabled chasers and other weird shit on their communities.
They certainly do not seem very tolerant of that now, they very commonly ban people for thinly veiled homophobia and transphobia that would normally slide on other sites. They do not even seem mildly willing to tolerate the intolerant.
Everyone Except Fascists and/or Tankies
I think that kind of goes without saying.
I wish
Good.
deleted by creator
spinster exists but I think its the opposite where its antitrans
We all pretend that it didn’t exist and do not acknowledge its presence; that’s the informal rule.
Like Finland if it were real.
The admin behind it is also a man so its for (some) women by a man. Literally the opposite.
Yeah Spinster is generally considered a hate site, and consequently is very widely defederated, even from general purpose instances like lemmy.world. Also it’s less of a Reddit alternative and more of a Twitter alternative but is technically redundant since you can do everything you did on there on the real thing instead.
I thought that was mastodon. Do they have a lemmy instance as well?
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
It really comes down to this: if you want your own space for particular interests, you should create one and find likeminded people to populate it. Just waiting for it to magically appear isn’t going to work. Be assertive.
This seems like a very good niche for someone willing to do it. Problematic accounts could get a site-wide ban instead of each woman having to ban someone herself.
Lemmy needs block lists users can subscribe to like they can on BlueSky, it would make a huge difference imo.
Niche? Bruh, they’re half of the population lmao
It’s not niche being a woman obviously. What’s niche is having a community exclude 50% of the population. Nothing wrong with it, but it is niche.
Zero women have tried to make one so far regardless of how many would use a new instance. So it can’t be all that in demand.
I think it naturally would occur if Lemmy grows in size. There’s not many people here to begin with.
There’s !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al we started a little over a month ago and recently hit 1000 members
we all know there’s currently only 1 chick in the fediverse
There WAS 1 chick in the fediverse.
The situation took a dark turn recently.
P in that case Nicole’s DMs are the Lemmy women’s sub.
Unfortunately it is niche right now in the fediverse based on the stats. That could change but probably requires a different approach to achieve.
Nicole is on a mission to single-handedly skew those stats
I don’t know of any “men only” instances, the fact that it’s gender-specific is niche rather than the specific gender.
I don’t believe they actively intended to exclude anyone, but there is/was Dull Men’s Club, and I believe they’ve recently rebranded to “Dullsters”.
Same reason womens magazines are more popular than mens magazines and womens subreddits and websites are more popular than mens.
Maybe one day we’ll have full equality and it’ll be weird to think of “women’s spaces” as something that’s necessary. But it’s very much so today.
I would guess that most women wouldn’t feel the need to be on a woman-focused Lemmy instance for their main / only account. But, some might want an alt account to discuss certain things there.
While this won’t be the case with everyone, it was mentioned a few times in a post I made here a long while back
I’m a woman, and make no attempt to hide that fact in my posts. That said, I also don’t personally have much interest in talking about being a woman, so don’t sub to any of those places you linked.
Over on Reddit I just sort of let people assume I was male a lot of the time, since it wasn’t really relevant to what we were talking about. But from the start on Lemmy I’ve made sure to call out incorrect assumptions, downvote and give a talking to people stereotyping or being misogynistic, etc etc. And the more of us (of all genders) that make that same decision, the better things get
That’s pretty brave of you. It’s a lot of work to fight people’s assumptions, and I’m sure it results in harassment.
But, you’re right that things will never change if women don’t do that. It’s a chicken and egg thing. Nobody wants to be the first to do it, because whoever’s first gets harassed the most. But, if enough people do it, it won’t be abnormal anymore.
Good luck, and thanks for trying to make women on the internet more normal.
this is a bit of how Blahaj works as I understand it, so it’s a good model - if anything I would think Blahaj might already be poised for this kind of instance-level protection of women
EDIT:
one of the Blahaj guidelines does include removing bigotry, including sexism, and would be a candidate for a safe space for women:
Inclusion and Acceptance
Embracing inclusion and acceptance means listening when people tell you who they are and what their needs are. It means not telling people that you know their experiences better than they do. It means not gatekeeping experiences of identities of others. It means no bigotry such as racism, sexism, anti LGBT commentary, ableism etc. It means doing your best to ensure that you don’t over-talk the voices of folk who don’t share your privileges.
That said, the women spaces on Blahaj are mostly for trans women, so a more general women’s community would be nice.
Like women only or hosted by women? Based on the selfhosted poll I’m guessing there is a 5% there is.
Both of them
I feel discriminated
My apologies as I didnt intend to
But wait… your pronoun is He/Him. I’m confused, you want to join a instance that is hosted by a woman and women only, but you are a men?
Why are you being so hostile?
It’s called “being an ally,” and it’s far more productive than faking outrage and borderline-doxxing people we disagree with.
Where did you get these informations?
Probably he browsed my mastodon profile
I wont, im just suggesting them
Not women only but women centric and with additional moderation protection. And yeah, I’d also say that women should administer and moderate such an instance.
it’s called pinterest
Edit:
PS: Ok so it looks like people here are just as bad as redditors. I was answering the question in the Reddit caption of this post. Pinterest has been known to be an alternative to Reddit (as a link aggregator) which attracts women a lot more than men.
This is a KNOWN thing, check this 10 year old article from the people managing Pinterest stating as much
Of course women are welcome here, there is no question about it. Does it matter if there is an instance for women? I don’t even know, I know women who love stereotypical male stuff and vice versa. I assume anyone, male, female or anything in the spectrum, can browse around and collate their favorite subs
Not funny, not ok. Women are just as welcome here as anyone else and your comment is exactly why they are asking. “It’s a joke” - nope don’t even. Be better than this.
it wasn’t a joke
pinterest is an link aggregator just like reddit and geared towards women
of course women are welcomed here, no clue how you get otherwise from my comment
https://www.youthsense.com.au/youth-insights/men-are-from-reddit-women-are-from-pinterest/
You’re the joke, got it, moving on.
Oh I see, you are just an idiot… go back to reddit please
Well…yes, it is a link aggregator, but have you ever used Pinterest? The uses for it vs reddit are wildly different…
Yes, I have. And the differences that you allude to are a huge part why women find it attractive, more so than men.
Pinterest itself have publicly stated this was not necessarily intentional and they wanted to bring more men to the platform.
I am more trying to argue that Pinterest and Reddit/lemmy are fundamentally different enough that they aren’t really interchangeable.
I personally use both, but, again, for wildly different purposes.
I agree, but at a higher level the analogy works… like a sports car vs a pickup truck vs a minivan. Very different but at the end of the day they are all vehicles and men tend to like one of those more than others, same as women (and no, I am not implying women like minivans… my wife forbade me from getting one when our kids were little and I had given up on a cool car for the convenience of one)
Well my argument is that they fall under a different analogy. Something like a car and wheelbarrow? They’re both used for transportation, sure, but they also have two distinct functions that don’t cancel each other out.
Your comment can be read in multiple ways
“It’s called pinterest. Go there instead. This site is not for you.”
or
“It’s called pinterest. This thing you are interested in already kind of exists. Just thought I would let you know.”
The people downvoting had the first interpretation, I assume.
Honestly, I really cannot stop people from making up things I did not write and tagging them along in their heads.
I was answering the question in the picture of this post:
Do you know any Reddit alternatives aimed towards Women?
The way I worded it “it’s called Pinterest” came from me thinking this was a well known thing which apparently is not for many lemmy users.
Check this article which is 10 years old, where Pinterest representatives acknowledge this demographic divide and want to correct it
You need to calm down
I don’t agree in this particular instance, but in general I think you’re right - all this shit is really getting to me. And I always appreciate a good call out. Going to touch some grass, hope everyone has a great day ✌️
You need to sit down and learn
Nah im ok
Lemmy,blahaj,zone is run by Ada, who is a woman
And terrible at adminning
I wish I could recommend blahaj, there are a lot of trolls in the space that the admins have successfully been guilted into supporting.
Ahhh, now that explains a lot.
Like what?
I rememebered Blahaj people accusing Lemmy instances of being misogynists left & right without any evidence
& were censoring anyone, just because they asked for evidence.
And what’s the insinuation here, given that being told the instance admin is a woman your response was “That explains a lot”
The insinuation here is the instance behaves like a raging misandrist, nuff said.
The comments here make me very disappointed in our little corner of the internet. If anyone wants this but doesn’t know how, neither do I but I’d be happy help.
I am disappointed but not surprised. The attitude of men here reminds me a lot of default subs in Reddit. People tend to be more civil, but there is so much “but what about men?” when talking about women’s issues or belittling women still. Business as usual on the Internet, but I can see why it would cause women to avoid Lemmy.
I haven’t been back to Reddit, but it makes me miss the small niches where I didn’t see that as often.
womans only spaces (popping up because of male dominated spaces) do lead to male only spaces but who cares, ppl that want to be in those spaces can stay there idrc, they dont want my input I dont want theirs
Yeah, it’s natural to have spaces that aren’t for me. It’s fine. I really just have an issue with spaces where I am supposedly welcome to be hostile towards me.
I’ve said it many times before and I’ll say it again, gender relations here are worse than they were on reddit when I stopped using it.
I mean there’s like 3 women on lemmy, and 2 of em are trans. I don’t think there really ARE any gender relations here.
Ignorant
I think you’re underestimating how many women use the internet. They just don’t go swing that around much because of the harassment it tends to attract.
lemmy =/= the internet
It’s a more niche “back room” kind of forum, so there are less casual browsers and more technerds here, which makes it predominantly male for a lot of reasons that require a whole other discussion to analyse, but it’s exactly like when reddit was a niche “back room” website gaining popularity.
Lets not forget when reddit started, it was absolute chaos, some of the very worst communities imaginable where at home there, and the userbase RAGED every time some pedo or hate sub got purged. But they did get purged, and it became welcoming for a more diverse group of users to participate in. (Until the bot nation attacked)
i wonder if it’s not just worse on lemmy, but gotten worse over time, with the manosphere shit and all it’s relevant problems, neither feminism nor the manosphere, or traditional male gender role has really addressed this issue comprehensively, and we’re starting to see pushback from this issue in real life now, men are enrolling into college less than women, they do worse in most environments, and also are generally worse when it comes to mental health.
I wonder if we just need like a dedicated “social issues space” where people can talk about this stuff.
There’s !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al
Call it out when you see it. Keep the bar nazi free.
I’m on .ml, but I don’t engage in any Marxist-Leninist communities. So it doesn’t really matter on what instance you’re on.
This isn’t about recommending an instance but a community.
Depends. You looking for a woman’s space…or a terf space?
I definitely think it should be an inclusive, not exclusive space
blahaj.zone is a great one I’ve found. Extremely inclusive, brooks absolutely no bullshit from bad faith actors.
Is also very very queer tho JSYK
Is also very very queer tho JSYK
That could be our new Lemmy slogan.
I don’t think we can equate “queer space” with “women’s space”.
I didn’t.
Well I would definitely put blahaj down as a queer-focused space rather than a women-focused space. It’s inclusive, women are welcome, but the community there is very much about queer issues.
Key word: you.
k.
Except the Drag person, obvious troll they keep around.
Don’t call them a troll or Ada will ban you like she did me and half of 196
Good
Dragonfucker isn’t a gender, you enabling trolls makes LGBTQ spaces worse for people with real gender identities that experience real discrimination in the real world.
I bet you feel good when the people you hate get silenced though, like a drug addict chasing dopamine.
You don’t get to decide what is and what isn’t a real identity :) if that makes you mad, the ban was justified just for that,
People are fucking weird about drag.
Honestly there are far more worthy things to get pissed about this day and age, open a window
I just blocked them and moved on. It’s just insane it took so long for the admins to finally ban them.
Either can describe a bar that throws out Nazis or a Nazi bar, depending on perspective.
now you’re just being dickish.
Nah I’m demanding clarity. A clear question “Do you mean excluding TERFs or excluding women” and the answer is “I want to be inclusive”. It may not be meant as such, and I’m definitely not implying that it was, but that’s exactly how a TERF would evade questioning.
A clear “Fuck TERFs” would have provided plenty of clarity, and been much shorter. Also, it would have said “Fuck TERFs”.
I regret my part in this recto-cranial inversion of a conversation
Idk man “exclusionary” is literally part of terf I don’t think there’s much ambiguity there. Fuck terfs though.
This is transmisogynistic and misogynoir as well as plain old misogyny. Don’t ask me to explain. Just don’t do it.
They’re also complaining about “women being excluded from women’s spaces by agents of the patriarchy posing as women”. They’re also not necessarily using “TERF” as a label. They’re using typical fascist-style “words mean whatever we want them to mean in the moment” type of stuff, hiding clear-cut positions behind pretend nuance, hence why I favour clarity.
Most of the fediverse is male, and there’s a significant trans woman space, but there’s no spaces that really cater to cis women or to trans men specifically that I’ve seen.
And yes, I think it’s reasonable to look for a space that is strongly (though not exclusively) cis-woman, in the same way that a Protestant would feel out of place in a Catholic community, even though they’re all Christian. I imagine most cis women feel the same way as I (a cis man) feel when going to blahaj - like a friendly, allied visitor in a foreign land.
We have !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al
I can’t think of a single online space ever that has catered to trans men. It’s always infinitely easier to just act like a cis dude 99% of the time.
I guess there is Hudson’s Guide lol.
Pardon my ignorance but what would be the point of that? You can sign up on any instance and participate in any women’s communities. It’s not like there’s any way to verify the user’s gender anyway.
You really don’t see the benefit to a group of similar people to have a space focused on them, their wants and needs and daily lives? A community of people like them? It’s one of the most fundamental human desires.
That’s not what I said.
with enough admin and moderation you could circle jerk your way into a “woman positive” or “woman friendly space” which would be the idea.
Local feed I guess. I wouldn’t trade my french local feed to another despite the abillity to subscribe to the community that made it.
Local feed is one of the best parts of Lemmy conceptually and a very clear indicator that the intended behaviour for users is to sign up to smaller insurances related to their location or otherwise significant individual interests.
our local french feed 🤝
D’autant plus que je ne poste pas souvent dessus !
Couldn’t you sign up on another instance and still subscribe to all the same communities?
A community like that would hopefully ban misogynists who go unbanned on other communities.
“Community” is the operative word there. OP is asking about an instance.
An instance can be a community in the general sense of the word.
Right but it has a very specific meaning here.
They (I think) meant that the instance would be a community, and the admins would ban misogynists.
its kinda sad how one of the biggest women’s community on the lemmy/mbin side of fedi is !femcelmemes@lemmy.blahaj.zone…
i mean, it’s a great community, but yea.
Hahaha the name doesn’t do it justice tbh, *cel has connotations that femcelmemes really just doesn’t have
There seems to be a majority of males even in that community though
Are you talking about browsers/commentors? Cause almost all the prolific posters are women, unless you’re being transphobic
I don’t know any of them and would not even recognize their usernames. Just be real, there can’t be that many women, it’s just not consistent with Lemmy’s userbase. To me that sub draws more attention from men who view it as a fantasy. Read the comments and the posts, many of them don’t seem legitimate
Erotador, totallynotjessica, kewwwi, and squirrel are by far the people who post most there and they’re all women.
My yin, I’m the one with the blahaj zone account here
Idk the majority of posters there are transfems afaik, with a smattering of femboys posting as well.
every femcel community gets invaded by guys at some point. see: r/letgirlshavefun and r/femcelgrippysockjail. theres one that went private and thats keeping out the men really well (and is the only community im still on reddit for)
Well maybe if girls weren’t weird and trying to make shaving fun they wou
I don’t know how to finish this joke I’m tired. Finish it for me i give quest xp
TW: crude and insensitive joke (hopefully the spoiler tag works lol)
ETA: lemme know if you need this taken down. Sometimes the intrusive thoughts win
!It’s funny, blahaj.zone is full of pussies, and .ml is full of cunts, and yet there’s no dedicated space for women!<
spoiler tag didnt appear to work, but this indeed is very stupid and funny.
NGL I almost deleted it this morning, glad it made you giggle
Define “women”
People who cover their drinks when you’re around.
Everyone is a woman on this blessed day!
Speak for yourself.
I am one with everything, so by speaking about myself, I speak about the whole of reality. Checkmate!
You don’t know what a woman is? Or is this some kind of attempt at trolling?
I’m asking if the Reddit user is looking for cis women or is open to trans. A lot of lemmy could be considered women run if trans women are included in the request.
I think maybe it would have been clearer to just ask this question directly and openly. The way you phrased it is the way a lot of bigots do to try to start trouble.
No one would understand this is what you intended if you use a transphobic dogwhistle for that.
People who tell you they’re women.
Create one!
