• ZeffSyde@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    I want there to be a witchesvspatreiarchy here, but I’m a dude and it’d be messed up if I started it.

  • MECHAGODZILLA2@midwest.social
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    3 months ago

    The comments here make me very disappointed in our little corner of the internet. If anyone wants this but doesn’t know how, neither do I but I’d be happy help.

    • i_dont_want_to@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      3 months ago

      I am disappointed but not surprised. The attitude of men here reminds me a lot of default subs in Reddit. People tend to be more civil, but there is so much “but what about men?” when talking about women’s issues or belittling women still. Business as usual on the Internet, but I can see why it would cause women to avoid Lemmy.

      I haven’t been back to Reddit, but it makes me miss the small niches where I didn’t see that as often.

      • r.EndTimes@lemm.ee
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        3 months ago

        womans only spaces (popping up because of male dominated spaces) do lead to male only spaces but who cares, ppl that want to be in those spaces can stay there idrc, they dont want my input I dont want theirs

        • i_dont_want_to@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          3 months ago

          Yeah, it’s natural to have spaces that aren’t for me. It’s fine. I really just have an issue with spaces where I am supposedly welcome to be hostile towards me.

      • pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        3 months ago

        I’ve said it many times before and I’ll say it again, gender relations here are worse than they were on reddit when I stopped using it.

        • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.comBanned
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          3 months ago

          i wonder if it’s not just worse on lemmy, but gotten worse over time, with the manosphere shit and all it’s relevant problems, neither feminism nor the manosphere, or traditional male gender role has really addressed this issue comprehensively, and we’re starting to see pushback from this issue in real life now, men are enrolling into college less than women, they do worse in most environments, and also are generally worse when it comes to mental health.

          I wonder if we just need like a dedicated “social issues space” where people can talk about this stuff.

        • ameancow@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          It’s a more niche “back room” kind of forum, so there are less casual browsers and more technerds here, which makes it predominantly male for a lot of reasons that require a whole other discussion to analyse, but it’s exactly like when reddit was a niche “back room” website gaining popularity.

          Lets not forget when reddit started, it was absolute chaos, some of the very worst communities imaginable where at home there, and the userbase RAGED every time some pedo or hate sub got purged. But they did get purged, and it became welcoming for a more diverse group of users to participate in. (Until the bot nation attacked)

        • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          I mean there’s like 3 women on lemmy, and 2 of em are trans. I don’t think there really ARE any gender relations here.

  • hendrik@palaver.p3x.de
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    3 months ago

    beehaw.org aspire to be nice, friendly diverse and safe. But they’re more towards nice, not women. And we have lemmy.blahaj.zone for queer folks. To my knowledge, there isn’t a place aimed towards women. Maybe heehaw is the closest… Still not really a fit.

    You could go ahead and also ask in some of the women communities, see how they get along here on the Fediverse.

    • Tonuka@feddit.org
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      3 months ago

      Why should they want to do that? That’s not how most sites for women work!

    • stoy@lemmy.zip
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      3 months ago

      There is no resonable way to do that.

      The only way I could see it being done while perserving some kind of anonymity would be to have a defederated instance, where members are invite-only, where members can invite their friends to join, there by verifying that there are no men joining.

      Unfortunately, there is no good way of verifying the gender of a person that you don’t meet outside of a forum.

      • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        I’ve mentioned this before in other threads that seek a women-centric Lemmy option, but there was at least one secret community on Reddit like that. Invitees’ post histories were vetted before an invite was sent, both to find women specifically, but also to prevent trolls.

        I don’t know exactly how they did it, all I know is that I got an invite one day and found the most open, comforting community I’d ever seen online. It was a place where we could talk about anything from silly stories that made us smile, to complaining about specific issues with bras, all without fear of trolls hijacking the thread, or turning an ordinary thing for us into something sexual.

        I miss it.

    • AdrianTheFrog@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Blahaj.zone is an instance aimed at queer people, but it doesn’t have to prevent non-queer people from participating. I would imagine an instance aimed at women to be similar.

  • merc@sh.itjust.works
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    3 months ago

    This seems like a very good niche for someone willing to do it. Problematic accounts could get a site-wide ban instead of each woman having to ban someone herself.

      • merc@sh.itjust.works
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        3 months ago

        I would guess that most women wouldn’t feel the need to be on a woman-focused Lemmy instance for their main / only account. But, some might want an alt account to discuss certain things there.

        • Otter@lemmy.ca
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          3 months ago

          While this won’t be the case with everyone, it was mentioned a few times in a post I made here a long while back

          https://lemmy.ca/post/9443464

          I’m a woman, and make no attempt to hide that fact in my posts. That said, I also don’t personally have much interest in talking about being a woman, so don’t sub to any of those places you linked.

          Over on Reddit I just sort of let people assume I was male a lot of the time, since it wasn’t really relevant to what we were talking about. But from the start on Lemmy I’ve made sure to call out incorrect assumptions, downvote and give a talking to people stereotyping or being misogynistic, etc etc. And the more of us (of all genders) that make that same decision, the better things get

          • merc@sh.itjust.works
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            3 months ago

            That’s pretty brave of you. It’s a lot of work to fight people’s assumptions, and I’m sure it results in harassment.

            But, you’re right that things will never change if women don’t do that. It’s a chicken and egg thing. Nobody wants to be the first to do it, because whoever’s first gets harassed the most. But, if enough people do it, it won’t be abnormal anymore.

            Good luck, and thanks for trying to make women on the internet more normal.

      • Sixty@sh.itjust.works
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        3 months ago

        Zero women have tried to make one so far regardless of how many would use a new instance. So it can’t be all that in demand.

        I think it naturally would occur if Lemmy grows in size. There’s not many people here to begin with.

      • LibertyLizard@slrpnk.net
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        3 months ago

        Unfortunately it is niche right now in the fediverse based on the stats. That could change but probably requires a different approach to achieve.

      • FaceDeer@fedia.io
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        3 months ago

        I don’t know of any “men only” instances, the fact that it’s gender-specific is niche rather than the specific gender.

        • QualifiedKitten@discuss.online
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          3 months ago

          I don’t believe they actively intended to exclude anyone, but there is/was Dull Men’s Club, and I believe they’ve recently rebranded to “Dullsters”.

        • Tonuka@feddit.org
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          3 months ago

          Same reason womens magazines are more popular than mens magazines and womens subreddits and websites are more popular than mens.

          Maybe one day we’ll have full equality and it’ll be weird to think of “women’s spaces” as something that’s necessary. But it’s very much so today.

      • Alk@sh.itjust.works
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        3 months ago

        It’s not niche being a woman obviously. What’s niche is having a community exclude 50% of the population. Nothing wrong with it, but it is niche.

    • dandelion (she/her)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      3 months ago

      this is a bit of how Blahaj works as I understand it, so it’s a good model - if anything I would think Blahaj might already be poised for this kind of instance-level protection of women

      EDIT:

      one of the Blahaj guidelines does include removing bigotry, including sexism, and would be a candidate for a safe space for women:

      Inclusion and Acceptance

      Embracing inclusion and acceptance means listening when people tell you who they are and what their needs are. It means not telling people that you know their experiences better than they do. It means not gatekeeping experiences of identities of others. It means no bigotry such as racism, sexism, anti LGBT commentary, ableism etc. It means doing your best to ensure that you don’t over-talk the voices of folk who don’t share your privileges.

      That said, the women spaces on Blahaj are mostly for trans women, so a more general women’s community would be nice.

    • teatimeplease@lemm.ee
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      3 months ago

      Lemmy needs block lists users can subscribe to like they can on BlueSky, it would make a huge difference imo.

  • Eiri@lemmy.ca
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    3 months ago

    But like what even is a social media for women? I wasn’t aware the ones we currently have were for men

    • Tonuka@feddit.org
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      3 months ago

      reddit has /r/TwoXChromosomes which is one of my favorite subs. It’s a general womens subreddit, and though it obviously leans feminist it’s not its main purpose. It welcomes all genders, but remains a womens space.

      The fediverse could really use that energy.

      • slingstone@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        I wondered if they made the jump over here. Guess not, sadly. Reading that sub has made me a better man, because it offers some pretty harsh critiques of male behavior.

      • poVoq@slrpnk.net
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        3 months ago

        We used to have an equivalent on our instance, but it was constantly flooded with reply-bros and trans people complaining about the name, so we archived it as no women was willing to moderate it (for understandable reasons).

      • Hanrahan@slrpnk.net
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        3 months ago

        Yeah but thats a subreddit not REDDIT itself, you can similarly start a /c/TwoX on just about any Lemmy instance.

        • JustAnotherKay@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          While I do agree with what you’re saying, I actually think a “by women for women” instance has a slightly different impact than a “by women for women” community. There are definitely pros and cons for both, though

      • lunarul@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        There’s also /r/WitchesVsPatriarchy which is also very strictly woman-centered.

        • Genius@lemmy.zip
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          3 months ago

          Damn women appropriating witchdom. Excluding boywitches just reaffirms the patriarchy’s gendering of magic. It’s re-inventing the same gender roles.

          • Ashtear@lemm.ee
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            3 months ago

            Neither the WvP subreddit nor the Discord excludes men from identifying as witches or from participating in discussions.

            • Genius@lemmy.zip
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              3 months ago

              Then what does women-centered mean in practice? Is it just a nothing label?

              • Ashtear@lemm.ee
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                3 months ago

                Woman-centered is not an absolute. One does not have to be part of a single characteristic of a group to have a stake in it, to be an ally, an advocate, a partner, a family member, among countless other scenarios.

                I would suggest reading up on intersectionality.

                By the way, all of this is covered in the subreddit sidebar, including in an FAQ in the wiki.

          • Nuxleio@lemmy.ml
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            3 months ago

            I’m sorry, what?

            It’s women-centered because it’s “against patriarchy”… not because it’s witchy. And they are trans & queer inclusive as well.

            • Genius@lemmy.zip
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              3 months ago

              I think it would be even more against patriarchy if it was enby centered. They should change that.

              • Nuxleio@lemmy.ml
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                3 months ago

                You need to stay away from feminism and enby activism entirely until you’ve humbled yourself and seriously sat with how problematic this take is.

                You’re not helping anybody with that. Least of all enbies/trans people. And not just because it makes us look bad either, though that’s certainly part of it.

                • Genius@lemmy.zip
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                  3 months ago

                  I don’t know how problematic this take is, and since you can’t explain how it is, I’m convinced you don’t either. You’re just having an emotional reaction to deviation from the gender binary’s norms, which construct womanhood as the opposite of manhood.

    • r.EndTimes@lemm.ee
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      3 months ago

      Its all technically ran by trans women which is mildly interesting, like the mods of 2x and the others on reddit and here I think

  • Snoopy@piefed.social
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    3 months ago

    This idea is pretty cool, i hope they will succeed to achieve that. Imo, we lack diversity on the forumverse except maybe mastodon.

    It would provide an additional security layer, another governance. They could also benefit a lot from local community and can check vote, email, ip…Other have already mentionned good example with blahaj, beehaw…

    On the other hand, it will render the instance more visible.

    On my main instance, jlai.lu, i think we don’t manage well sexist speech. They are moderated, we do our best to explain to our users what’s wrong and slowly change them but we don’t have the same sensibility as women.

    Men explaining women…So we probably missed lot things.

  • Binette@lemmy.ml
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    3 months ago

    I was thinking of making one, but I’m not a woman, so I’ll think of something else

    • tfm@europe.pubOP
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      3 months ago

      I definitely think it should be an inclusive, not exclusive space

      • Taleya@aussie.zone
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        3 months ago

        blahaj.zone is a great one I’ve found. Extremely inclusive, brooks absolutely no bullshit from bad faith actors.

        Is also very very queer tho JSYK

      • barsoap@lemm.ee
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        3 months ago

        Either can describe a bar that throws out Nazis or a Nazi bar, depending on perspective.

          • barsoap@lemm.ee
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            3 months ago

            Nah I’m demanding clarity. A clear question “Do you mean excluding TERFs or excluding women” and the answer is “I want to be inclusive”. It may not be meant as such, and I’m definitely not implying that it was, but that’s exactly how a TERF would evade questioning.

            A clear “Fuck TERFs” would have provided plenty of clarity, and been much shorter. Also, it would have said “Fuck TERFs”.

            • LwL@lemmy.world
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              3 months ago

              Idk man “exclusionary” is literally part of terf I don’t think there’s much ambiguity there. Fuck terfs though.

              • barsoap@lemm.ee
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                3 months ago

                They’re also complaining about “women being excluded from women’s spaces by agents of the patriarchy posing as women”. They’re also not necessarily using “TERF” as a label. They’re using typical fascist-style “words mean whatever we want them to mean in the moment” type of stuff, hiding clear-cut positions behind pretend nuance, hence why I favour clarity.

  • Draconic NEO@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    lemmy.blahaj.zone has a decent amount of women and both their admins are women, it’s not a “women’s space” as one would describe since everyone is welcome there but it’s probably the closest thing one would describe as an instance “by women for women”. I am obligated to mention that it is a queer instance and that many of the women there are either trans themselves or strongly supportive of trans people, and do not tolerate transphobia or anti-LGBT sentiment (including refusal to support LGBTQ people) at all.

      • tomenzgg@midwest.social
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        3 months ago

        We all pretend that it didn’t exist and do not acknowledge its presence; that’s the informal rule.

      • Draconic NEO@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Yeah Spinster is generally considered a hate site, and consequently is very widely defederated, even from general purpose instances like lemmy.world. Also it’s less of a Reddit alternative and more of a Twitter alternative but is technically redundant since you can do everything you did on there on the real thing instead.

    • Konkyer@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      As much as I appreciate the community and users at Blahaj, in my personal experience, the moderation was fairly wanting. At least a year or two ago (not sure about now), they tolerated some pretty freakish right-wing people who enabled chasers and other weird shit on their communities.

      • Draconic NEO@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        They certainly do not seem very tolerant of that now, they very commonly ban people for thinly veiled homophobia and transphobia that would normally slide on other sites. They do not even seem mildly willing to tolerate the intolerant.