It’s a masturbation joke.

But it doesn’t cross the blood brain barrier so it doesn’t really do me much good.

🫠

Uh, isn’t that what this is?

A teenager was just shot to death in her home for existing and that’s your reaction? Bruh.

I’ll probably quit next week, this one has been rough. I’m not addicted though.

NDAs generally prohibit you from stating that you are under NDA.

Better to be cryptic “I can’t really go into details due to my clearance”.

Now we’re getting somewhere. Maybe something hip and new like Pentium

“Core 2 Duo” sure is an unfortunate name for a tech product. They couldn’t pick something better?

…Dad?

It’s double illegal now. Everyone knows that’s when shit gets super serious.

I hope your eggs are newer than your bills.

The beans stay in the safe, everyone knows this.

My arm is asleep but I don’t want to disturb her.

Although somewhat unrelated, I thought this excerpt from the article was interesting and sad.

Asked in an interview if he regrets Balatro’s success, he replied: "Honestly, yeah. Don’t get me wrong - this has changed my life in a lot of amazing ways. I’m so grateful. But I do miss that time before. It was just a hobby that recharged my batteries. Sometimes I think, ‘Maybe I would’ve been happier if I had never released this game to the public.’

The lack of hair on the knuckles is the strangest part to me.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that smoking (including exposure to secondhand smoke) is linked to around 480,000 deaths per year in the United States.

According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), roughly 40,000 people die in motor‐vehicle crashes in the US each year.

Smoking accounts for roughly 12 times more deaths annually than motor vehicle accidents in the US

I envision a website where you can get a Trump Bible and a pardon all in the same transaction. And you’ll pay far out the ass.

I feel seen.

When I searched for the quote, the only result was this:

https://github.com/Xyphyn/photon/blob/36f8a87b95d0b6b6689c43cff09f08ddc13cd355/src/lib/util.ts#L37

My guess is that they wrote those themselves.

From his Wikipedia page, some selected excerpts:

Thompson joined UnitedHealth Group in 2004 and was named CEO of UnitedHealthcare government programs that included Medicare and retirement, and community and state divisions in 2021. Under his leadership profits at UHC went from $12 billion in 2021 to $16 billion in 2023.

The investigation revealed that in 2019, UHC’s prior authorization denial rate was 8.7%. Thompson became CEO in 2021, and by 2022 the rate of denial had increased to 22.7%. For both Medicare and non-Medicare claims, UHC declines at a rate double the industry average.

A lawsuit was filed against Thompson, UnitedHealth chairman Stephen J. Hemsley and two other senior executives in May 2024 for alleged fraud and insider trading due to failing to disclose an antitrust investigation into the company by the United States Department of Justice and by selling stock options before the probe was made public.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Thompson_(businessman)