Are these the foreigners the right wing tells me are coming to commit crimes in Canada?

Fr. Imagine the editor being like “hahah we got him now” and all they can find is pictures of him that day looking like a ray of fucking sunshine.

For a fraction of a second my brain went to some other less awful universe and I read this sentence as a totally normal thing of like “oh yeah of course, harambe must’ve been an important person and it’s totally normal for rational governments to honour important people”.

I want to stay there.

He is a gorgeous boy. I wish him a speedy recovery.

Not me losing the actual game 😒

I’m allergic to everything. Mushrooms, soy/tofu, tree nuts (but not peanuts), raw fruits (and some cooked), raw veggies.

I’m Mexican but even I can only eat so many beans in one week. I’ll stick with doin my best though.

I don’t get the joke. I mean, I know we have white supremacists and racism and our PM kind of sucks right now. I just don’t understand if this is referencing something in particular?

Fr, you don’t have to be a child to have bad taste or poor humour.

Protect the bees, protect this queen

Wtf I hate this timeline

Whats wrong with the febreeze one? They did used to use those bottles, right? I’m pretty sure I have one around somewhere.

I dont think there’s that many Canadians actually in there, we just have a lot of people that support the pedophile billionaires in the States so same difference really

You can only call it Parmesan if it comes from the Parmesan region of Italy actually so

Very true. Either way, not a nice way to screen people imo

In addition to the aforementioned egg paradox: it is okay to call yourself an egg, but it is not okay to call someone else an egg.

Egg_irl comes from me_irl, thus always referring to oneself.

Probably only if your waist is below a certain size 🤢 god that link made me unreasonably fucking mad

Jesus I was just thinking the opposite. I would be OK with poly if it meant saving on rent but 1500 is fucking ridiculous (and I’m thinking Canadian). Even coming from the most expensive rent in Canada, that’s way too fucking much to also be dealing with weird “breeders”.

I know this is a shitpost but serious question: does anyone know if when you go to jail they would help you out to get a phone number if you dont know. Like can one of them look at your phone to give you your mom’s number or something lol

Rose tweets: “Purposeful poop” to “bomb a petit” to a sloppy mess of writing over the top of Funkagenda…stop trying to make 'Wit…I mean “fetch” happen."

This references Perry’s mission statement to make ‘purposeful pop’, puns on her song ‘Bon Appetit’, and claims ‘Swish Swish’ samples dance act Funkagenda. ‘Wit’ is a reference to Perry’s album Witness, with ‘fetch’, of course, being a Mean Girls reference.

Even though they translated my brain still imploded. wat.

The daughter is going to see a social worker (presumably for some sort of therapy) and the social workers name is Ms Haete Weiner