It’s a good thing Halloween parties are indoors. Wear a coat over my slutty costume 😄

Oops I forgot about it & fell asleep. 3am is not a normal hour to be awake. More snacks for you! 🥨

It will hit my time zone in 5 hours. Wanna come over & get another chance to experience it here?

Your username indicates that you already have paws, therefore you don’t need any sudsy shower bubble tricks to achieve this effect.

I guess that’s a pun, not a typo.

thatsthejoke

Why is everyone in the comments assuming that blanket isn’t waterproof? Let’s give OOP the benefit of the doubt and let them enjoy their depression meal on their own terms.

USA has an increasing number of roundabouts.

For years new model phones required a lock screen. But my Samsung s25 ultra doesn’t require a lock screen! I love it. There’s no passcode on it. But don’t worry, it’s my backup phone and I don’t carry it with me all the time everywhere, so I’m not worried about anybody else getting into it.

A man clearly made this diagram because he’s still confused and included a North clit and a South clit just in case.

Hell, I wasn’t even happy in 2014-ish when that song was raging. I think I went to the hospital for suicidal stuff that year BECAUSE I’M HAPPYYYYYYY 🎵

Those tomato slices remind me of two errant tomato slices that landed in the shredded cheese bin at our work salad bar yesterday. I used tongs to put the tomatoes back in the tomato bin with their fellow tomato slices. Was that the highlight of my day? Absolutely not.

They need a more realistic button: “Pay to enjoy it until it disappears with no warning”

OCCUPIED!

But what’s weird is that 99% of the time I have no idea what to say in any given situation, but this public restroom scenario just came naturally to me one day and still comes naturally to me every time. That’s weird isn’t it? Like I’m only comfortable & functional in the most uncomfortable situations 🤦🏼‍♀️

And I’ve never understood why it’s called the gateway to California. A gate implies an entrance/exit point. I’ve never entered or left California through or under or over that bridge. Seriously who does??

If the obnoxiously bright blazing headlights of an oncoming car cause momentary blindness & disorientation to the point of losing the ability to see then crashing one’s car & serious injury or death, how can bright blazing headlights driver be brought to justice? He passed, he’s gone, he doesn’t know the wreck & death he caused. 🤔

If rent is your objective, I’m afraid you’ll have to find a raccoon-sized HUMAN who earns a living wage, and shove HIM up yer arse, because raccoons aren’t biologically subject to capitalist slavery, therefore they’d have no money to give you.

Tyranny is a woman?! Makes sense 😝

I wonder if he realizes that he’s also divorced.

We called it the Darth Vader voice.