• LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      7 hours ago

      I’ll ask again since you seemingly didn’t understand.

      Before you can decide if someone you’re referring to or talking with is a girl or a woman, do you need to see proof that they are pregnant, have been pregnant, or can become pregnant? Do you put a hold on every social interaction you have until you are presented with such proof?

        • LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          7 hours ago

          You’ve never gendered someone wrong before? Never seen a boy with long hair and called him a girl by accident? Never got someone’s gender wrong because of how they looked? Do you interact socially with other people very often?

          But I’ll ask again. Every time you talk about another person, either directly or indirectly, do you demand to see biological evidence of past or present pregnancy, or the ability to become pregnant, before you can agree they are a girl or a woman? If the answer to that question is no, then how do you know that they are a girl or woman? What is it that tells you that? What are you assessing that tells you that they are a girl or woman?

            • LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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              7 hours ago

              Haha, I don’t believe that for a second. Whether you have or not doesn’t matter, because it happens all the time. And as someone who was an androgynous kid I got called a girl all the time. I certainly didn’t do anything to dissuade that. People used to ask my mom who her little sister was cause my mom was a young mother. And she’d have to awkwardly correct them both on the fact that I was her child and that I was a boy.

              Are you going to actually respond to the rest of that comment though? Come on, let’s see some reading comprehension skills and critical thinking. Defend your views.

              • thisguy1092@lemmy.world
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                7 hours ago

                No I don’t ask those questions. I can see that they are a boy or a girl. You make it sound like it’s a complex thing. It’s not.

                • LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                  6 hours ago

                  I am absolutely not the one making it sound like a complex thing haha you’re the one who brought up pregnancy as though that’s how we determine how to gender someone.

                  Perfect, so you agree that how someone looks to you is how you gender them. It isn’t their ability to reproduce, it isn’t their chromosomes, it isn’t their genitalia, it’s how they look. Like someone might be wearing clothes considered feminine in your culture, they might be wearing makeup or have visible breasts or a frame or facial structure associated with femininity in your culture. They might carry themselves in a way considered feminine by your culture, have a voice in a higher range or speak in a cadence and tone associated with femininity by your culture.

                  You would be inclined to gender that person a woman and use pronouns she and her for them. Pretty simple right, you’ve seen girls your whole life you know what they look like. You know how they talk how they move what they wear. Same with boys. You know the way boys look and how they move and talk, what clothes they wear, how their hair is cut, how they’re built and what their faces look like.

                  But you’ll note that none of these things are hard-line biological rules. Women are still women without breasts, with deep voices, with squarer builds and heavier facial structures. Women are still women with facial hair from PCOS. Womanhood is not something determined by biology. Otherwise, you’d ask for concrete proof every single time you had to refer to someone. It also exists whether or not someone completely matches what you expect women to look like or not. And if you gender a cisgender person wrong, if you call a girl a boy, she can correct you, and you will apologize and refer to her as a girl. She looked like a boy to you from that angle, but you were wrong.

                  Gender is a social class. It is how we treat people socially. It defines certain rules and conventions for how you think about someone and how you interact with them. Transgender rights is liberating people to determine what their own gender is. It’s allowing gender identity to be self determined instead of assumed by other people. It’s pointing out, correctly, that gender is not defined by biology. It is defined by convention by what other people call you. That men and women are not biologically hardwired towards gender. Dresses are not a part of women’s biology, nor long hair, nor push-up bras. Those things are culturally and socially determined. Assigned gender is defined by restriction, boys can’t do that girls can’t do this. Liberating people from assigned gender allows them to define who they are.

                  In short, gender is something you assign by what you see. What you see can be wrong. And when it’s wrong you trust the person speaking when they correct you (unless you’re an asshole). This has always applied to cis people. But it is restrictive, it forces people to be and act a certain way even if they don’t want to. And it doesn’t have to be that way. Your gender should be up to you. Everyone’s should be.

                  • thisguy1092@lemmy.world
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                    6 hours ago

                    See that’s where we’re not seeing eye-to-eye

                    I see a dude/kid/teenager have long hair act feminine or vice versa

                    A person may be more masculine or feminine in whatever way. But you are still the gender/sex that you were born with. Whatever you do in life based on who you are that’s up to you! Cool you made yourself happy. But bottom line. You’re still a dude or a girl at birth.