Don’t be like this, it’s so exhausting. Even if you struggle with sarcasm, all you need to do is take half a second to ask yourself if it’s possible it could be a joke. For an obviously flippant comment like this—obvious because it has no other value—you will literally never go wrong interpreting it as a joke. If it is a bit more complex, ask: “Sorry, I just want to confirm, did you mean this sincerely?”
consider that I’ve had to hear this exact phrase in complete earnestness from anyone I’ve ever talked to about my abuse for three and a half decades and that it’s never been anything other than a way for other people to comfort themselves about their involvement and/or lack of involvement
Consider that it is almost certainly a snide comment aimed at the people who would do what you are describing and excuse it with a bullshit phrase like the one in question.
As long as you are thinking strictly in terms of what you have suffered, you are virtually guaranteed to misinterpret the information in front of you.
I am not indifferent to your struggle, but being 50+ and still so easily triggered… that seems miserable. Not saying it’s easy, but when I find myself spontaneously experiencing undesirable emotions, I like to lean into it and try to understand what’s going on.
The past isn’t real, and we get one chance at this. Your story can be what you want. Maybe some pages weren’t great, or maybe the entire book got lost in a house fire - that’s ok.
Don’t be like this, it’s so exhausting. Even if you struggle with sarcasm, all you need to do is take half a second to ask yourself if it’s possible it could be a joke. For an obviously flippant comment like this—obvious because it has no other value—you will literally never go wrong interpreting it as a joke. If it is a bit more complex, ask: “Sorry, I just want to confirm, did you mean this sincerely?”
consider that I’ve had to hear this exact phrase in complete earnestness from anyone I’ve ever talked to about my abuse for three and a half decades and that it’s never been anything other than a way for other people to comfort themselves about their involvement and/or lack of involvement
Consider that it is almost certainly a snide comment aimed at the people who would do what you are describing and excuse it with a bullshit phrase like the one in question.
As long as you are thinking strictly in terms of what you have suffered, you are virtually guaranteed to misinterpret the information in front of you.
I am not indifferent to your struggle, but being 50+ and still so easily triggered… that seems miserable. Not saying it’s easy, but when I find myself spontaneously experiencing undesirable emotions, I like to lean into it and try to understand what’s going on.
The past isn’t real, and we get one chance at this. Your story can be what you want. Maybe some pages weren’t great, or maybe the entire book got lost in a house fire - that’s ok.
I hope you find your way through very soon.