Have you ever had a single real life interaction with someone who puts their pronouns up front and center? Have YOU ever seen someone talk about their pronouns outside of an internet ragebait setting?
I’m not trans. I was born with cock and balls. I had (He/Him) in my work emails until recently. I’m just built like a twink, even when I was a soldier and lifted every day. I’ve always looked extremely feminine, and get called ma’am by strangers all the time. People call me by whatever pronouns they want, mostly out of confusion. I’ll always respond to them if they’re not outright doing it to be a contrarian or a pussy-hearted whiny bitch because I look like a girl.
My “ability to enforce a personal preference is limited at best” is actually zero. When you give your preferred pronouns to someone you have no control over them using the right pronouns. You’re completely reliant on the kindness of others to not be a piece of shit and make fun of you. That’s not a reason to stop giving your pronouns out.
If you concede your powerlessness, why would you issue them in the first place? I’m reminded of signage in workplace kitchens, requesting that people wipe benches and ensure dishes aren’t left in the sink - a conscientious worker will follow it in nearly all cases (either by accident or deliberation), but it’s pointless when in front of a careless worker.
Because a sink is an obvious place to wash your hands, but as a person I don’t have an obvious gender. Giving pronouns isn’t demanding that people comply with using them, it’s for people who want to know. At least for me.
I’m trans, and my perspective is that pronouns are a useful social signal. I prefer to let people call me whatever they want because the word they choose reveals how they see me, but I still have my pronouns in my email signature because some people are kind enough to put other people’s feelings before their own assumptions and would have to ask for it if the info weren’t available.
It’s not a matter of power, it’s a matter of social friction and the concessions we all make so that we can work together smoothly.
Have you ever had a single real life interaction with someone who puts their pronouns up front and center? Have YOU ever seen someone talk about their pronouns outside of an internet ragebait setting?
I’m not trans. I was born with cock and balls. I had (He/Him) in my work emails until recently. I’m just built like a twink, even when I was a soldier and lifted every day. I’ve always looked extremely feminine, and get called ma’am by strangers all the time. People call me by whatever pronouns they want, mostly out of confusion. I’ll always respond to them if they’re not outright doing it to be a contrarian or a pussy-hearted whiny bitch because I look like a girl.
My “ability to enforce a personal preference is limited at best” is actually zero. When you give your preferred pronouns to someone you have no control over them using the right pronouns. You’re completely reliant on the kindness of others to not be a piece of shit and make fun of you. That’s not a reason to stop giving your pronouns out.
If you concede your powerlessness, why would you issue them in the first place? I’m reminded of signage in workplace kitchens, requesting that people wipe benches and ensure dishes aren’t left in the sink - a conscientious worker will follow it in nearly all cases (either by accident or deliberation), but it’s pointless when in front of a careless worker.
Because a sink is an obvious place to wash your hands, but as a person I don’t have an obvious gender. Giving pronouns isn’t demanding that people comply with using them, it’s for people who want to know. At least for me.
I’m trans, and my perspective is that pronouns are a useful social signal. I prefer to let people call me whatever they want because the word they choose reveals how they see me, but I still have my pronouns in my email signature because some people are kind enough to put other people’s feelings before their own assumptions and would have to ask for it if the info weren’t available.
It’s not a matter of power, it’s a matter of social friction and the concessions we all make so that we can work together smoothly.