z500

It helps when to be a liquid

It’s usually fine, but I download new TV shows automatically and I got a .exe instead of the new Frasier. I don’t think I’ll be downloading an actual .exe from TPB in the future lol

I don’t know why addressing a cat as “cat” is the funniest thing ever

You win a free trip to the Hague

Apparently “cotton” and “Mexican” are slurs

I wonder what the chances are that Russia did this.

I say we elect that one guy behind him who barely reacts at all

They put it back about an hour later

If you’re blind, it’s a possibility.

My sister’s tuxedo is so wild, you can tell her mind is going a mile a minute but somehow doesn’t have much going on up there.

I’m already 2 years older than Mozart was when he died, the fuck am I even doing with my life

I can’t wait to hear about the GNU Is Not UNIX Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of

Nice, very trochaic

How the hell are you supposed to exit that?

Back when computer monitors were big enough, my cat would sit on that and I would have to keep moving his tail out of the way

Hold my internal organs, I’m going in

Pour it on yourself and you’ll never have to work another day in your life

Glory to you… ^AND ^YOUR ^PASSWORD…

“ingenuity is kill”
“no”

I saw George W. Bush at a grocery store in Kennebunkport yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.