Typical Mac user.

Trump’s justice department is considering a non-prosecution agreement

Daddy needs a new jet, not an used 747.

The AI ate my homework.

I guess he finally realized that a 747 really is bigger and faster that his 757.

And yet they’re bigger, fly higher and faster, and have longer range than his 757.

That expression. “Don’t worry ladies, there’s enough of ol’ Skeeter to go 'round.”

I’m doing so well just believing the opposite of whatever he says.

I now own a Browntooth speaker.

Apart from everything else, that’s a great headline pun.

The first spam email was sent in 1978. It’s been downhill since.

He’s the septic skeptic.

Have the banned buzkashi yet?

Taliban is going to have to ban a bunch of stuff, because people who get a rush from gambling will gamble on anything.

“luk, hoomans has gives us a food hatch!”

Librarians are pretty chill, unless you’re a loud talker hehe

The way the tissue regenerated was miraculous, wasn’t it? No ragged gaps, no scar tissue…

“Sometimes, a balloon knot is just a balloon knot.” Emrys Freud, Sigmund’s duller brother.

Psst, covfe.fe is available. Pass it on.

Ah yes, good old dependency.

Just suckers, like an octopus.