Even if we do get a Brutus we’re still fucked, got it

No matter how many times he types hamberder2, it will show to us as **********

The tornado tourism industry is gonna be huge!

This stupid fuck of a senator needs to go back to where he came from (sorry Illinois, you can’t just dump your garbage in other states like that)

All that meticulous research and they get blindsided by “dude’s a couch fucker” 🤣

The trick with that test is that they’re not looking to see whether you can do it. They know you can’t. They’re looking to see whether you think you can. If you show signs of believing it’s possible, that’s probable cause for a search. If you believe you actually pulled it off, you’re drunk.

I actually just started learning C++ today.

If Lovecraft were alive today one of his stories would start with this line.

“Lying about our prices on the menu keeps the prices on the menu lower!”

“If the shoreline fits”

He would know, he’s a genius himself!

Walz is what I imagine my parents would be like if my parents had actually believed the moral lessons they taught me as a kid

What’s Elon?

Just not that one

I’ll ride on the wing

I’m 42, vaxxed, and what passes for reasonably healthy in the US (which is to say, all kinds of fucked but still technically able to work). I had covid this week and at the peak I actually needed help standing up after kneeling to rummage through a drawer.

If the case reaches the Supreme Court it’ll be “en mountebanc”

Reddit, is that you?

Workers leaving states like CA for Texas are like anti-vaxxers who think vaccines are stupid because they don’t know anyone with polio.

If our country survives for another couple decades, they’ll be so proud of themselves for “inventing” all the same worker protections they left behind. But not before experiencing their economic polio first hand.

Carpe jugulum

If the quacks don’t do it the worms will