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Joined 5 months ago
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Cake day: February 22nd, 2026

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  • True. Having some reasonable photos and sending a good first message helps with that. Ask your friends of your desired gender to look at your profile. (If you have no such friends, maybe work on that, too.)

    Some people just write “hey” and that’s a really poor strategy. Write something that plays off their profile.

    Also don’t spend too long chatting on the app. Initial exchange, like 1-3 more volleys, clear any deal breakers, ask them out. You want to get in person so all the normal human things like body language work for you, and the siren song of new matches is somewhat muted.


  • I guess I’m an elder millennial now. Got the greying hair and all.

    I had pretty good success on the dating apps without paying. Location is a big factor. But also, as the saying goes, “the bar for men is in hell”. I think just having a reasonable conversation and caring about her put me a tier above the average.

    Of course, the apps are profit seeking machines that don’t especially want you to be happy. They can work, but they’re not trying to.

    I’m pretty sure the apps algorithm didn’t think I’d click with my partner. It feels very much “pretty close”, like they wanted me to have a few dates and move on. But to everyone’s surprise we really got on, despite things that superficially looked incompatible.









  • The other day I saw some dude throw his cigarette on the ground before getting on line in front me to get carded to enter a bar. For a long moment I considered picking it up and going “hey, you dropped this” and handing it back to him.

    But I didn’t, because there’s no way that ends happily.

    But man, fuck people who litter.




  • Market the company and, for smaller companies that want funding, beg and network.

    Leadership is often removed from how work actually gets done. This is part of why they often make bonkers decisions.

    They don’t understand that most of the time isn’t going into typing code into the computer. It’s figuring out what the product guy and CEO actually want. It’s pulling answers out of them (eg: what do you want to do if the user’s name is null?) or dealing with it when they don’t like your decision (eg: you didn’t say what to do when I don’t have their name, so the email just says “hey”. I really don’t think this is a crisis)



  • I don’t think the graphics are a big part of the problem. It’s more the math.

    Pillars of Eternity, for example, has it so every point of Might above 10 is 3% more damage. This is a little hard to reason about - my sword says it does 17-24 damage. So if I have 15 might, that’s 15% more damage , so the sword is now… 19-27? I had to use a calculator because I’m kind of bad at math. If I take one more point of might, my max damage becomes…28? Does it round?

    This is not very quick and easy.

    Now imagine instead of every point of might was just +2 damage. Or +5 damage. Much easier to reason about. If you want might to matter more for some weapons, slap a double might bonus on them. You might (pun intended) just need to scale the rest of the system around this new range of values.

    I accidentally swerved a little from “impactful stats only” to “easily understood stats”, but they’re kind of related.