Get tsla puts, people will get angry and want to hurt the real President.

No way, only one of you is leaving the X House, and it’s not him.

Nature will take care of florida.

Does anyone at DOJ not call her Blondi as she walks away?

“It’s not about left or right, but right or wrong.”

Christians need to come to terms with the fact they kneel before the pharohs.

I just emailed my Senator and told them now is the time to kneel, or govern.

Look, the man needs a sober driver, please think of the pedestrians.

This guys has a one-track mind.

Maybe he’s just training for the real thing.

Okay, one more…. Uhhhhhhh

If he does this one more time, they may send him up the river… to try having sex with a seat on the ferry.

I’ve been a conservative voter with ethics my whole life and Obama was the best candidate I ever voted for.

Sale on Scientists!

Sounds to me like a bunch of people having a good time in a festive atmosphere.

Innocent people. Completely innocent people play Civ 5.

If I saw his body-weight in bees walking down the sidewalk in a skin suit, I would high five him, no question.

Look she is his designated driver, are you going to make her wait in the car with the bottle of gin?

Boomers gonna love how this turns out.

At least they’re wearing suits, am I right?

May you proudly be tailgated home by a truck flashing its brights.

If you put an onion cut in half in their casket they won’t get sicker.

3 years, 1 month, 4 days… dude, really should have considered doing that a little sooner. Could we at least work a few memes or rick rolls into these speeches, like with Melania, to make them more interesting?

The nsfw content, mostly.