At least you won’t have that particular problem again until you read about somebody who sneezed someone else’s intestines out of his body.

What? Now you can’t even turn the country into an absolutist dictatorship anymore? I thought this was AMERICA! Political correctness gone overboard!

“Well, you can’t prevent all assaults in the world, so why shouldn’t I punch you in the face now?” is a rather defeatist point of view.

Won’t SOMEBODY think of the poor, poor monopolists who so far made their money exploiting the alternativeless victims at their mercy? Why would their prey give them way too much money now, eh? Socialism! Terrorism! All the bad words, what’s in right now? Woke? DEI?

But maybe this one correct take negates the 517 instances where he made it look like he was a grade-A asshole last week alone.

Google: “You wanted words? Here are some words!”

Player: “Are you sure that you are a real leprechaun?”

Chad Jibbity: “What, are you implying that I am merely a magically animated automaton stringing words together according to a complicated set of rules? Certainly not, I am a very real riddle leprechaun!”

takes a hearty bite out of a juicy tennis sock

Player: ಠ_ಠ

Oh, they’d never do anything as sinister as that. That may still be illegal (if the ultra-rich lobbying hasn’t taken care of that obstacle by that point).

Instead, they’ll just make sure that whatever essential core service they’ve built a monopoly in by just muscling the poorer competitors out of the race will cease to be offered to you if you refuse to hand all your money over to them.

See also: insulin, hospital treatment, etc. This is just a new playing field to find old prey in.

Sure, the possibilities are endless, so the first thing we’ll get that has any research money and effort put into it is how to turn it into an advertising platform and then maximally enshittifying it as soon as there’s a market share to speak of.

It’s fiiiiine, I wouldn’t want a stupid brain chip that’s NOT on fire anyway. Looks much cooler and I bet that’s just how Daddy Elon planned it to be.

Have you considered upgrading to the Ultra Premium Deluxe Version? For just 99.99- a month, you can actually use what you bought!

I don’t know what they’ll do to him, but I can tell you: if you were to do what he did, the twelfth time, there’d surely be some sort of stern admonishment, or maybe even real consequences!

Absolutely catastrophic mismanagement.

Hard disagree. When the vultures gut and eat the racehorse they just bought, they’re perfectly happy with the outcome.

I won’t stop you :)

May update. May not update. Who’s to say?

One session after that, they find out that the continental cartel has had decades to entrench their position on the market and can and will field all the manpower that dozens of diamond-producing national branches can field in order to regain control of one lost national mining branch. Two sessions later, the alchemist is the one who knocks.

Next episode: The gang secure themselves a mine to gain a steady supply of blood diamonds.

And that’s why we must lock every one of our free citizens up. Y’know, for their protection.

Since Goebbels used the phrase “If you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear”, then he’d be the one arguing against the right to privacy. The fascist dogma is eroding privacy in favour of surveillance - ostensibly to protect the people, but really just to control them.

Our vultures are so fat, you wouldn’t believe how full they are all the time…