Ultra consent.

“Iz not a wooden stake, iz just hanging there like blah, BLAH!”

“Who starts a conversation like that?”

All 10 dentists hate you.

Let’s be honest, it’s been downhill since the Elephant Jokes website.

That’s why they bought them.

Is that why Israel is trying to make Gaza look like the Salt Lakes?

That’s how far ahead of time that stuff is bottled. It’s not like it goes bad in a couple of weeks, it’s water + chemicals.

The date is usually printed somewhere in the bottle.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say all of them would die for one reason or another.

Also, my first experience with the internet back in 1994 was a page of elephant jokes, I feel I’ve come full circle now.

How is using the word ethical to describe something a criticism?

Me over here with the Ibuprofen and the Coke and pizza.

They’re not good enough for you.

Six Flags Luxor

One of the worst humans in recorded history. No small feat.

Ancient Japanese proverb.

A man is cutting wood in the forest and his axe falls into a lake. A goddess emerges from the lake holding a silver axe and a gold axe. She asks the man which axe belongs to him. He says neither of them are his. She praises him for his honesty and gives the man both axes as a reward.

2027

CNN: “The United Stares has again vetoed sending aid to Palestine and Ukraine in the latest UN vote…”

Apple: “We’re so pleased to announce the 20th anniversary iPhone! It’s starts at $2,999….”

I can hear him swearing.

The microwave is hardcore mode.