Double oopsie! Your driver delivering flowers to your other driver was in an accident! Would you like to deliver flowers to the driver who was delivering flowers?

My dog barks at the fireworks. I’m pretty sure if we got her a jet pack she would fly up there to kick some ass.

It’s not a joke. I’m not personally into it, but a few people enjoy it.

Did you know your urethra can also taste spicy? Try sounding a Thai chili pepper!

I totally get that. I was just saying that I can see why someone would not want to cook.

I also drink tea! My wife is Indian and introduced me to the joy of afternoon tea.

How are you making it? It could be good coffee. I use an Aeropress occasionally and it’s a decent sub for espresso.

Former coder here, and yes, absolutely no desire to code in my spare time.

But he’s been cooking all day. I know several cooks and chefs, and the last thing any of them want to do after a day of constant cooking is to go home and cook some more, even if it takes 10 min. Now are there better (healthier) options than Taco Bell? Sure, but maybe they just enjoy Taco Bell, and maybe it’s an occasional treat.

Cocktails are $20 a pop. Hell, mocktails are like $15 a pop and they don’t contain alcohol.

People can cook for themselves, too, but sometimes they like to go out for food. Same with coffee. It can be nice to get out of the house and go for a cup of coffee, or grab a cup when you happen to be out. Ever tried making a cup of coffee on a road trip? Not impossible, but not super practical for most people. If you want a latte but you don’t own an espresso machine you’re kind of out of luck (unless you want to get an Aeropress). Anyway, there’s lots of reasons why you’d go to a coffee shop.

Good. Who wants to drink burnt coffee from a megacorp when I can drink coffee that’s actually good from a local business?

You say “have to”. I say “get to”.

Bigfoot got some cake

Oh shit oh fuck

No Ragrets

Hamsters? No. Gerbils? Possibly.

But what if the Wall People don’t approve of you because you won’t fart into other peoples’ mouths?

Jesus Crit

Magma ropes