Gah what a fucking tool.

Well at least he isn’t getting paid when I rewatch Ace Ventura 2 on plex 😎

🤣😂

not Roman

Koln: am I a joke to you?

and then that Cato MFer ups and kills himself just before I was gonna kill him with kindness. Can you believe that? What a dick right?

How I imagine Caesar retold the story over dinner.

Doppelsöldner has entered the chat 😎

Doppelsöldner (“double-mercenaries”, “double-pay men”,[1] from German doppel- meaning double, Söldner meaning mercenary) were Landsknechte in 16th-century Germany who volunteered to fight in the front line, taking on extra risk, in exchange for double payment.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doppelsöldner

Probably need more crossbows because the Romans sorta forgot, according to Emperor Leo VI The Wise

The fact that archery has been completely neglected and fallen into disuse among the Romans has caused a great deal of harm nowadays.

Please tell me this is the German word for wielding a tire iron 🙏

Finally, a chance to talk about Michael the Deacon! I mean there’s not a lot to say but it’s really interesting that an Ethiopian deacon befriended Martin Luther and demonstrated to him there’s valid Christianity beyond the pope’s clutches.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_the_Deacon

Edit: and for extra Star Trek fun Ferengi and Negus are Ethiopian words for foreigner and king 🤓

Don’t you get it? You cocksucker! I work for Dick Jones! Dick Jones! He’s the Number Two Guy at OCP. OCP runs the cops.

My man was a high school dropout turned noble slayer turned selllout emperor. What a life 😎

remember when we was socii and they carried us to and from the war and supplied all our meals? Fuck this janky 25 years of servitude shit 🤮

How I imagine the provincials reading this poster

That’s cool sure.

But on the other side: Reddit betrayed the social contract and deserves to rot in consequence.

One droplet of lost engagement becomes an ocean; just stop showing up 🤷‍♀️

Also: who the fuck is this Prester John character yall insist is here?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prester_John

Must have been a bad breakup:

Selim I wanted to use the Ottoman Empire’s central location to completely cut the ties between Shah Ismail’s Safavid Empire and the rest of the world.

Shah Ismail received revenue via customs duties, therefore after the war to demonstrate his commitment to their thorny rivalry, Selim I halted trade with the Safavids[61]—even at the expense of his empire’s own silk industry and citizens.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selim_I

We call it Hatuey day in my house 😎

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hatuey

Vandal Kingdom of St Augustine fame feels way less obscure than Land of Punt or Garamantes, but who cares I gotta find out about that Roman coin!.

Me reading a backstabby medieval german story that ends in sweet uncle Attila’s court: is this a scourge of god?

Oh ya sometimes I forget about that. 🙃

It’s a reference to a Star Trek villain “Malik Soong” from ENT whose actor is also played “Paul Muaddib Atreides” in the syfy Dune miniseries.

Fun fact. Malik meaning king is the dead giveaway that “Malik Soong” was always a cheap copy of “Khan Singh” from Wrath of Khan.

Haha yes, thanks for a breath of fresh air.

It’s been eye-opening to read up about history in that area of the world 🤓

Those are the beavers lol

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Beaverbollocks.jpg#mw-jump-to-license