respecting gender equality, understanding the evil in big corporations and avoiding them, valuing community and being tolerant (except for intolerance) and against discrimination somehow equals communism

All of these have their basis in the liberatory framework of anarchism, and a large and traditional portion of communism is anarchist. These kinds of liberation are the goals of anarchy and by extension communism. This is why, for example, Marx described communism as stateless and why it manifests a strong opposition to religion/religious institutions.

I agree that these things do not make one a communist, but at the same I believe these stances themselves are communist, even if they overlap with other ideologies and/or economic frameworks.

I suspect that as one embraces these stances, they are more likely to adopt the views of larger populations that share the same ideals, and that this facilitates the transition many have to communism. But clearly that political transition does not have to occur, as it did not in your case.