Thanks for this explanation. My partner has ongoing dealings with a woman at work - someone who he tried to help improve when her performance was sliding but when it wasn’t going to get her what she wanted, she turned on him, lied and manipulated others into her way of thinking. Some of those people attempted the same interventions as my partner did, and she repeated the same manipulative process against them. Her grudges span many people across the company.
We knew there was a medical reason behind her behaviours, and some past trauma, but reading this it’s now falling into place what that might likely be.
Super typical of people like that. The triangulation especially. In psychology I think it’s often used literally but I think a broader definition to include bringing in new people to a situation to try and maintain control and “win” since they’re almost never discussing anything in good faith, makes sense.
She’s leaving a trail of people who now can’t stand her who were initially her advocates. It’s ultimately self defeating which is why I think she can’t help it (to a degree). She’s trying to play both the 'I’m exceedingly good at my job and deserve accolades 'and the ‘I have medical issues I won’t discuss or let anyone accommodate; stop trying to manage me and don’t call out my lack of performance’ positions and it makes literally no sense. The only thing that’s consistent is that everyone who doesn’t agree with her is a monster.
Thanks for this explanation. My partner has ongoing dealings with a woman at work - someone who he tried to help improve when her performance was sliding but when it wasn’t going to get her what she wanted, she turned on him, lied and manipulated others into her way of thinking. Some of those people attempted the same interventions as my partner did, and she repeated the same manipulative process against them. Her grudges span many people across the company.
We knew there was a medical reason behind her behaviours, and some past trauma, but reading this it’s now falling into place what that might likely be.
Super typical of people like that. The triangulation especially. In psychology I think it’s often used literally but I think a broader definition to include bringing in new people to a situation to try and maintain control and “win” since they’re almost never discussing anything in good faith, makes sense.
https://psychcentral.com/blog/psychology-self/2019/10/triangulation-and-narcissism#:~:text=What Is Triangulation?,individuals except through the manipulator.
She’s leaving a trail of people who now can’t stand her who were initially her advocates. It’s ultimately self defeating which is why I think she can’t help it (to a degree). She’s trying to play both the 'I’m exceedingly good at my job and deserve accolades 'and the ‘I have medical issues I won’t discuss or let anyone accommodate; stop trying to manage me and don’t call out my lack of performance’ positions and it makes literally no sense. The only thing that’s consistent is that everyone who doesn’t agree with her is a monster.