Testosterone doesn’t require refrigeration, or at least the one I’ve been on for a decade doesn’t.

The cops bribed the witnesses against him

I tried to tell my wife this, multiple times. Now she wonders why the cat plays gentle with me but rough as hell with her.

She (the cat) will still attack my hand, but without claws or biting hard. She’ll even get under the blankets to fight me through them.

The way I accomplished this was by teaching her that if she got too rough it meant no more playing for about an hour. Since she always wants to play, it was an effective deterrent.

One of ours has to have his front paws in the bowl. He’s a bit brain damaged, though.

If you’re eating 90lb of cheese a day, there’s no shit at all

Mr Frog at it again

I think someone already did that one

The cameras mysteriously weren’t working for that exact span of time.

After skimming over the article, I’m not sure what parallel you’re drawing here.

We tried that with pickles, but it turns out they’re like crack to the little fucker.

Some crazy fucker got the OG Tomb Raider to run on an ESP chip.

Although the ESP is significantly more powerful than the original console.

Me to my wife on a regular basis. (She has a very soft higher pitch voice)

“Baby, I often can’t hear you when I’m sitting next to you. I definitely can’t hear you with a running HVAC cabinet, running dehumidifier, and a closed door between us.”

It depends on the ratio of failed to successful, really. If there are hundreds of millions of successful verifications, that’s a fairly low failure rate.

They catered to immunocompromised women.

As it turns out, he thought she was just being friendly when she replaced the can with him.

That wasn’t a software decision, though. It was a hardware one.

Heroes

Lol, they’ll just arrest you for stalking.

The laws that work for Flock don’t work for us too.

And the ones who do don’t last long

I apparently scan stuff too fast, so I get flagged multiple times while checking out. And I’m not really any faster than a cashier. That’s really only at Kroger, though