• Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca
    0·
    6 months ago

    Nobody might want advice here and feel free to vote this down but go out into the real world and find something to do where other people are.

    A little more than 7 years ago, after being single for 6 years, I went to a dog park with my dog and met a woman that interested me. We showed up at the same time and talked each time, I asked her out after a month. We went out New Year’s Eve and have been together since.

    It doesn’t always work but you can do it, random meme watchers have done it, so it is possible.

    • Blaine@lemmy.ml
      0·
      6 months ago

      I tried this once. Went to the dog park, chatted up a girl over a period of a month. I finally got the courage to ask her on a date, and she said yes! The date (dinner and a local concert) went great - we ended up back at my place and I can honestly say it was some of the best sex of my life.

      Then she ghosted me and we never talked again. That was 2017, and I’m still not over it. Thanks for the advice though.

      • phoenixz@lemmy.ca
        0·
        6 months ago

        Don’t get too high hopes about people until you really know them. So it was the best sex ever? Cherish that memory but don’t stop living. And 2017, and you’re still not over that? Really dude (or dudette?), don’t just get over that, get over yourself. Stop stop living, start living. Take risks, get hurt. Yes, you’ll get some bruises along the way, it will build character, you will learn and improve until you find that perfect person and by then it will not only be that that person is perfect for you, you will then also finally be perfect for that person because honestly right now you don’t sound perfect for anybody. Don’t that that last bit wrong, it just means you gotta work on yourself. Relationships are a lot of work, I spent huge amounts of time on reflecting, thinking about how I can make my wife smile, trying to improve myself, etc…

        I make a point of it to smile. Every. Single. Time. That. I. See. Her. I do anyway because she’s fucking gorgeous, but even so, i make sure. It makes her day multiple times per day, and seeing her smile makes me smile even more. A real relationship is a lot of work and it’s so damn worth it, but you gotta be ready for it too. If you’re not willing to do the work now how are you supposed tondo the work once you find that special someone?

        You gotta get out there, and get hurt. It’s part of the process. I got hurt (and unfortunately hurt others myself) on multiple occasions and I’m fine. You’ll be fine. It sucks in the moment, but you process it, give it a space somewhere in your memories and you go on to the next one. Believe me, you will get hurt a few more times (and build great memories in the process too, by the way, let’s not forget that), you will learn what to do, what not to do, you’ll learn not to immediately get strung up by the first girl and declare her your undying love within 5 minutes of meeting her, that usually doesn’t end well. Also not the second girl, nor the third , and not within 5 minutes… after a while you’ll find that super special one.

        like that you will get better because it’s not only about the others, its about you too. Grow up.

        As long as you stay safely on your shelter, you will stay alone for your entire life. If that’s what you want, fine. But I think it’s not, so this year go out, get out, take risks, get hurt, be happy.

        Happy new year!

      • Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca
        0·
        6 months ago

        I’m definitely not promising it will work perfectly. I was single with a dog and going to dog parks for 5 years before that but was at first not ready to date as I had just separated from my partner of 9 years.

        Dog parks are just good places to meet people, some you won’t know their names, some you will know them by their dog’s name, some you will know their names and meet outside of the dog park.

        Being social is the key to whatever type of relationship you want.

      • Auzy@beehaw.org
        0·
        6 months ago

        Funny you say that… Because, for the first half, I genuinely thought you were my housemate

  • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
    0·
    6 months ago

    GFs distract me from my goals and aspirations, which make me feel far more content than romantic relationships have in the past.