If I say I want spicy – I want to be in visible discomfort and bystanders should be concerned for my safety.
I went to an Indian place once and asked the waiter to make my food spicy. It was kinda medium-spicy, and when the waiter asked if it was spicy enough, I–stupid white boy I am–said no. He took the dish back to the kitchen. He returned a little later with the chef. They both watched me take a bite and regret my decision. Through the tears, I told them the Spice was just right. They laughed.
MAKE HIM REGRET
BEING BORN
Spec Prep
Pro tip: don’t ever tell a Thai cook their food isn’t spicy enough. They take their spice seriously, they take pride in it, and they like to dig it in a little if you ask for it spicier.
“Like you would make it for your grandma” usually works for me. But not if it’s the whole order, only if I am trying to get one item really spicy.
Once at an Indian buffet, the owner had okra out & I was so happy, love okra but he kept warning me off it - “no, no, it’s spicy” and I was like “Great!” and he would say “no, no, I mean it’s spicy” he really was worried.
Nope. It was not. Like, some perceptible heat, sure. But nothing anyone would consider too spicy. Like medium taco bell packet of hot sauce spicy. I was so disappointed after all the warnings!
There was a place on Venice beach called Rose’s Thai Window which had the best pad Thai. You could get it mild, medium, spicy, or ‘Rose spicy’, which is how she made it for herself. Whenever we tried to order it Rose spicy, she would flat out tell us no. On the last day the place was open, before she moved back to Thailand, she finally made it for us. I lasted literally 2 bites before I couldn’t taste anything anymore, except pain.
